Crystal Clear

Conversation this morning..
J: "Megan, did you post an add on Freecycle for unwanted garden produce?"
M: "Yeah.. How did you know?"
J: "Well, I read the short version of the add and thought 'That sure sounds like Megan..' and then I clicked on it and it said 'MeganMarie812' and I knew it had to be you."

Well... I guess I have a reputation.

All Grown up... Sort of.

A draft I found from last July.. How has a whole year passed??

Will at lunch: "Mommy, I'm all growed up!"
Me: "Really?"
Will: "Look at me Mommy! I'm not a preschooler anymore."
Me: "Huh. Then what are you?"
Will: "I'm a boy."
Me: "Wow! When did you grow up?"
Will: "Last night. When I was sleepin'."

Tomorrow is Will's 3rd birthday!!

Chunky Crayons for Little Hands

I love crayons. I love the look of them, the feel of them in my hand, and the smell of a freshly opened box. I'm a huge nerd, but I'll admit it! However, when you put crayons in the hands of my little people, they break. I've found the best way to involve little guys in making their own, toddler-sized crayons!

Toddler-Sized Crayons

1. Take the paper off of the crayons and break them into small pieces (Little ones LOVE to help with this!)
2. Put them into separate muffin tins. They can be separated by color, or mixed together to create neat combinations)
3. Pop them into the oven, 7-8 minutes at 250. When they are done, stick them into the freezer to harden, then tap them out.
4. Color away! :)

Miracle

Today William dislocated his elbow. I guess it's inherited, both Nate and I dislocated ours when we were his age. It was horrifying, William was hysterical for a solid half an hour. After that he only calmed when he was very still. I had my sister run over to watch Owen while I took Will to the walk-in clinic. We waited for an hour and a half before the doctor came in. William was still very upset, screaming every time his arm moved a fraction of an inch.

We couldn't stand it. We just started praying. We asked God to please make Will's arm better, at least take the pain away. Literally, within minutes, William was up running around the room, giving high-fives, and completely normal. God INSTANTLY answered our prayer. The doctor walked in and said "yup, he's fine". The nurse was even surprised when she saw William, who, merely minutes before was whimpering in pain. God is good, all the time!

No 'Poo!

After getting rid of the majority of our chemical products I began thinking of ways to eliminate or replace the remaining products we have in our home.. Currently I am working on my shampoo/conditioner. Recently I tried Dr. Bronners as a shampoo, but was left with limp, greasy hair. I have heard quite a bit about using baking soda/apple cider vinegar as a replacement, but was skeptical. Well, I gave it a shot and I am amazed! AMAZED! My hair is soft, non-greasy, and relatively tangle-free! I honestly cannot believe how well this worked.. Seriously, you have to try this! Here's the link to an instructable. :) Enjoy!

No Impact Week: Day Two (Tuesday)

Today was day two of No Impact Week. The challenge was to make no trash. This was difficult. I am pleased that we have so little food with packages, but there are still some. I had to remember my challenge and figure out how to not make trash. It was extremely difficult when I went over to my mom's today, packaged food heaven, and had to keep the boys away from things. Of course, when I wasn't looking they were given little boxes of raisins, etc. Oh well. By the end of the day I ended up with only a few things in the trash. Said raisin box, a straw from Will's drink, and some plastic wrapping from a string cheese package. That's pretty good I think. Well, up until we ate dinner at a mexican restaurant and was served paper napkins with a styrofoam cup for Will! AAAHHH! On to day 3 tomorrow! :)

No Impact Week: Day One (Monday)

Hello everyone! Yesterday Nate and I began an experiment called "No Impact Week" This week there is a national challenge to live for one week without making any environmental impact, easing into it gradually of course. The event actually started Sunday, but we didn't find out until Sunday afternoon, so we started yesterday.

Yesterday's challenge was to stop consuming new things. Being on a tight budget has made this a little easier than it is with most people, especially since we already did our grocery shopping. However, we are in the market for a new table, so instead of going to the furniture store we began browsing Cragslist to see if there were any cool used tables. Uhm, a plethora! I am very excited to try and get a neat vintage table. I think my biggest problem living in the greater Des Moines Area will be to find out where I can buy things without packaging.. There are a few stores that make it easier, but nothing that has say, pasta, without packaging that I know of. Hmm.

Nate and I have gradually been "going green" for a while now, so some of this will just be a little push farther past what we are already doing. I'm very excited for this big change! We're talking about how to extend this experiment past a week and see what happens. :) Another step we made in our quest to make our life about family and not about things was to move our television out of the living room and into the closet, unplugged, facing the wall for the summer. If there are a few shows we are desperate to watch *cough* LOST *Cough* we can watch them on my laptop. Long post, I know, but that's all for now. Stay tuned for the response to today's challenge. :)

Craftiness as a Cabin Fever Deterrent

Cabin fever has truly set in at the Roelfs house... I have been trying my very best to come up with ways to entertain William.. Recently he has become quite taken with crafts, which is so much fun for the teacher side of me! I picked up Crayola Window Markers at Target for $4, and some Valentines day window clings for $1.50. The window markers were somewhat expensive, but I knew that I could continue to use them for a LONG time! He has already colored most of our windows multiple times!

The other craft that always works is giving him glue, scissors, and misc things to use for crafts. Will loves construction paper, crayons, markers, paints, photos that I'm not using, old magazines, pipe cleaners, and the list goes on and on. Really, for this, all you need to do is hand him a bunch of misc. things and let him go to work! As you can see in this picture, it almost always works wonders! :)

Come, Follow Me..

I was watching my boys playing today and William (2) was standing close to Owen (11mos) and saying "Come on, follow me!... Owen, follow me. Come, follow me.." Owen was engrossed in his toys, so didn't pay him much mind. William walked over to him sat down, gently taking one of the toys out of his hand and said "come on, follow me". This went on for about 5 minutes until I distracted both of them.

This exchange reminded me of the passage in the bible "Come, follow me"... I just pictured Jesus standing close by saying to us over and over, "come, follow me", but we're too preoccupied with the things in front of us to notice. Sometimes he will change our circumstances so that we are able to see him more clearly, but the decision is ultimately ours whether or not we decide to follow Him. Trust me, it's worth the journey to follow him!

Things I say when I'm tired..

I happen to be one of the worst morning people I have ever met. I have been known to say things in that state between sleep and awake that I would never say when I am conscious. I have also been known to talk in my sleep, which can also cause problems. For example.. No one in their right mind would tell their 2 1/2 year old *who is supposed to be potty training* "Can't you just go in your diaper??" *sigh* At least I have a super supportive husband who doesn't hate me because of what I say when I'm half-asleep. Even though I have been known to say, very angrily, "Can't you just leave me alone??"

Maybe he just loves how horrified I am when he tells me later what I said that morning. *sigh*

The Blessing of a College Degree

Ever since I was a little girl my mom has drilled it into me to go to college and get my degree. She always told me that I was smart, determined, and I could do it! I received this message from everyone in my family. When I was in elementary school I decided I wanted to either be a veterinarian or a teacher. During high school I thought perhaps I would teach high school English.

When I was a senior, I took a class called "The School-Aged Child". This class took me into a 1st grade classroom 3 days a week for an hour each time. I loved it so much I took the class independent study the following semester. I was able to spend 2 periods a day, 5 days a week in the same classroom, which equated to an entire year with those 1st graders. I knew within my first week that I could never do anything else.

I applied for college at UNI, which I had heard was THE teaching college in Iowa. I ended up staying home and attending DMACC for a few years, mainly in order to save my relationship with my boyfriend. I am not ashamed of this, because every choice I have taken has led me to where I am today. If it wasn't for our breakup, my friends would never have dragged me to Ames to "take care of me". I ended up attending Iowa State University, and meeting and marrying the man of my dreams.

I am not going to say that getting my degree wasn't a bumpy road.. I had 2 babies, one of which I was on bedrest for 2 months, in the hospital for 3 weeks, and kept him in the NICU for 8.5 weeks. This weekend, with the support of my family, friends, and incredible staff at ISU, I walked away with my degree in Elementary Education. I am the first person in my dad's family to have a college degree, the second teacher in my mom's family, and can help show my siblings and children that persistance, while difficult, DOES pay off!

Thank you to EVERYONE for all of your help and support.. I know this is cheesy, but I dedicate my college degree to: God, for my strength and faith.. My parents, grandparents, siblings, my wonderful husband, Nate, my two beautiful sons, William and Owen, My friends who have stuck with me since, well, forever.. Clifton, Josh, and AJ, and the rest of you crazy Urbandalians, My pals in the program: B.ZO, Nancy, Ehley, Beth, Pat, and so many more, and the wonderful staff of ISU, who helped me through all of my challenges and helped me to fulfill my dream. I love you all!! I did it! :) :) :)

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that has always been, as I am sure is for many people, very complicated for me. I like to think that I am a forgiving person; most of the time I can forgive and forget very quickly. However, there are people who I have had trouble forgiving. I have seen what happens to people who cannot/will not forgive others. The bitterness that resides in them, the hurt it causes, and eventually, the separation it can cause. The only way it ends is with regret.

My family has been ripped apart by bitterness and stubbornness. My Dad has a brother. Did you know that? I have three more cousins that I never hear about. The reasons is that there have been disagreements in the past, just as every other family; but because of stubbornness and bitterness they have extracated themselves from our family. What have my grandparents (now just my grandmother) and my father done about it? Said "good riddance!" How terrible! I miss my aunt and uncle and cousins dearly! My grandmother tells me how sad she is and how much she misses her son and grandchildren; she sends them cards only to have them sent back unopened. Her heart is broken. However, she hasn't driven over there. She hasn't really pursued it.

I have asked both my father and grandma if they would forgive the rest of our family, and they have said grudgingly that they would. However I think there would be a lot of groveling, and I don't see that happening. I have been attempting to figure out how I can help, but I don't know how. My oldest cousin and I were always close growing up and I miss him very much. We spent so much time together, all of my time at my dad's when I was young was spent with him. We got into trouble together, played together, and when we were older, ran around together. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I would really like to rekindle that bond. I want my family to know the rest of my family.

Anyway, the reason I was writing this was to talk about forgiveness. I actually had another illustration in mind, but I suppose the previous one works just fine. As I was saying before, I haven't really had trouble forgiving for the most part; however when I have been really hurt, especially repeatedly, I have had a very difficult time forgiving. I just recently was able to truly forgive someone who had hurt me repeatedly for as long as I can remember. I am truly at peace with that person. However, I want to stress that it wasn't me of my own power who was able to forgive. God gave me the strength and the love. I have never truly understood the depths of God's love and forgiveness. My children have helped me to understand.

The bible talks about God as our father and his perfect love and forgiveness for us. The problem with this in my mind was that I couldn't figure out how he could let rapists, murderers, or child molesters into heaven. I think I have figured it out. I love my children unconditionally. I know that if William did something heinous, God forbid, I would be devastated. It would horrify me that this perfect little creation of mine could do something so terrible. While I would ache for him and whoever he hurt, I would want nothing more than for him to repent and go to heaven.

Would you want to spend eternity without your child? It was in that moment that I truly understood God's love. You would always forgive your children and ache for them to be right with the Lord, and you would never stop loving them. This is how God loves us. He will always be waiting with open arms, never have stopped loving you.

Unbelievable Love

I have been thinking about my boys a lot recently; how could I not seeing as how I am with them all day every day! Anyway, I remember being pregnant with Owen and being worried and in awe at the same time thinking "how could I possibly love this baby as much as I love William?" I already had a fierce love burning for this baby in my chest, my need to protect him was unbelievable. However, I still could not understand how I could have that much love in my heart?

Well, the past few weeks have been extremely difficult; the hardest thing I have ever done in fact! I was contemplating how insane we were to have two babies so close together, but at the same time I wasn't able to think of doing it a different way. I thought to myself, "if you had to choose which son to not have right now which one would it be?" I couldn't even wrap my head around that question. Of course I know that if I didn't have one I would have so much more time to devote to the other, but it is impossible for me to choose which one. Of course, I don't have to, and I'm sure I never will (God willing).

I was also thinking about Jacob and Esau in the bible. I can't imagine what their mother would have gone through knowing how they battled. When I thought about how she encouraged Jacob to swindle his brother out of Isaac's blessing at his deathbed I was truly perplexed. My thought was "how could she shortchange her eldest out of this right?" I first wondered if she was playing favorites between the brothers but I don't think that is the case. I think she knew that for one reason or another Jacob needed to have that blessing instead of Esau. A mother knows her children; knows what they are capable of and tries her best to help them achieve it. I think this is an example of a mother trying to do what is right by her children, even if it doesn't appear so at first glance.

Doctor Drama

Well, I Just got back from one of Owen's many doctor appointments. I hate those things. Here's the reasons why; all they do is upset me. I know my baby is fine, but apparently they don't. They have to do all of these procedures like ultrasounds and labs drawn and rectal temperatures and get him naked for EVERYTHING and it's just way too hard on a 6lb baby. Then, they show me charts and tell me how small he is and how he MIGHT have this problem or that problem, or that is at risk for yada yada yada. And then, at the end of the appointment they tell me everything is fine. I already knew that! So... can we just skip to that line and quit upsetting my baby please? Also; if anyone gives me grief about the fact that I am not breastfeeding anymore I think I will smack them. Wanna know why?

1. I had to pump every 4 hours for 7 weeks; you try that and see how much fun it is.

2. I was losing my milk supply; somehow a pump can't establish a good milk supply... imagine that.

3. I have talked this over with NICU doctors, nurses, and my pediatrition and we all decided this was the best decision.

4. Owen is FINE! We have enough milk to give him all of the benefits of breastfeeding with my stored milk.

5. If I had brought him home, he was not likely to establish a good breastfeeding pattern until he was at least 44weeks old, which would mean that I would have to rent a scale, weigh him before nursing, right after nursing, feed him the rest of his food by mouth, THEN pump AGAIN, all while trying to take care of my other son. Remember him?

6. NOT BREASTFEEDING DOES NOT MAKE ME A BAD MOTHER! So please, do not insinuate that I am one.

Anywhoo.. enough about that. On a lighter note; William is counting to ten now! He's such a brain! I'm not bragging I swear. Okay, maybe I am a little.... I am also very excited to be up and mobile and have *some* energy! (somehow, being up all night takes a lot of it away). I am able to cook EVERY NIGHT! I love it so much! Last night I had my mom, step-dad, and brother over and made them all dinner. We had Chicken satay skewers, stir fry with ginger spice sauce, and a delicious sorbet. :) Tonight I'm making some CRAAAAZY nachos! Yaaay food! All of this and I am still managing to obey weight watchers and lose weight! Go me! I suppose that's all for now; I need to feed Owen :)

Teacher Brain

For me there is nothing more fulfilling than doing something that I know I'm good at. I know I'm a good mommy and I know that I'm a good teacher (of course, there's always room for improvement)! Sometimes it seems to me that both of these things must be independent of each other; in order for me to be a good mommy I have to be home all day long, and in order to be a good teacher I need much more time than I think I have to devote to it.

Fortunately for me I have had a situation drop into my lap which will allow me to combine both aspects of my life; for reasons all their own, my mom has taken my 14 year old out of school to be home schooled. Now while I also have reservations about some home school programs and the necessity for students to interact with one another on a regular basis for numerous reasons, this is the best decision for her.

Until I start student teaching in August again I will be teaching Jess English and Algebra. Until Owen comes home I am sticking with English only because it is the area I am most familiar in. I have to say, I'm having a blast! It is difficult to get started because I am a very structured person and my mom and sister are not. They are perfectly fine with just doing things when they have a few minutes to squeeze it in, but I need to have a specified schedule. This has created a few problems, but it seems to be ironing out now.

We just finished reading Romeo and Juliet and I gave her a few assignments to figure out what we need to be working on. Before we started the play she was determined not to like it. I mean, why would you like something that old??? Once we got started she really got into it; at the end of the play she said "I had no idea I would like it that much!" Yaay! I also showed her the modern version of the play; the movie with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio - she loved it! It was really neat to be able to show her what you can do with a piece of writing. Perception is everything!

We began reading 1984 on Monday and so far it is going fantastic! There are a lot of vocabulary words and I am giving her a heavy reading load but she seems to be doing well with it so far. I am really enjoying figuring out how to question her so that I am not giving her answers and helping her to get "the big idea". I was really surprised how difficult this can be when you have one student who isn't "getting it". From my experience in the classroom usually there is at least one student who is making the connections that the rest of the class needs to be able to progress in their thought processes.

I suppose that's it for today! :)

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Apparently this book, one of my all time favorites, is being made into a movie this year! Hoooraay! In other news; Owen had a spell yesterday so we are looking at Friday for a come home date.

Whenever I read one of my previous sad posts it really makes me appreciate everything Jesus does for me. I would never be able to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" if it weren't for Him. He is so amazing in the strength that he gives me and the endurance that he has set before me. I am so thankful for Him! I cannot imagine why we have gone through this as a family, but not knowing is just fine with me.

I know that God has a plan for me, I have seen it many times in the past. There have been so many times in my life when I have wondered why I am going through certain things only to be shown years later that it has taken me to where I am today. For example, I had to have my heart broken to move to Ames; if I hadn't moved to Ames I would never have met Nate. How can I question a God who gives me such amazing gifts?

There has been so much going on in our house recently it's crazy! William is going through a stage where he does not want to go to sleep; he just can't stand to miss anything! He is cognitively growing by leaps and bounds! He is counting to 10, saying most of his ABC's, and is using 2-3 word sentences constantly. Today we had this conversation: William: "Where Sammy?" Me: "Sammy is in the bedroom." William: "Sammy nigh nigh?" Me: "Yep, Sammy's night night."

From an educational standpoint this just astounds me! To know that for him to have this conversation with me many things have happened. He is able to understand object permanence, knowing that Sammy has gone somewhere, but that she exists in another place even though he can't see her. He also knows that when you are in a bedroom chances are you're sleeping. Not to mention that he has developed proper syntax for answering questions! Way to go Will! It is so amazing for me to watch his development when I am able to appreciate what it takes for him to say such things! Ahhh.

Alright, I think I am going to head into the kitchen for a snack of strawberries and whipped cream! :)