Raising a misson-minded preschooler.

Is it possible to raise a mission minded preschooler? At the very least, I know it's possible to raise a hospitable, compassionate, loving one. The other day I was a few minutes early picking William up from preschool. He was eating his snack with his classmates and one of the assistants was sitting next to him. After a few minutes of chatting, William told me that he invited all of his friends and teachers to come play video games. I told him how great that was, and sometime we could do that. A few minutes later the assistant(a mid 50s Saudi woman) told me about this interaction.

Her: Nodding at William "He is very special. I have henna on my fingers, you know henna?"

I told her I was indeed familiar with henna.

Her: "Most of the other kids ask me what it is and are afraid for me to touch them, they think it will come off. William asked me what it was, shrugged his shoulders, and was fine with it. He was the only one!"

I love that my baby was so accepting of this. I love that in his own sweet way, he made this woman feel accepted and loved. The missions of children are so much more than we realize sometimes.

So-Called Christian

Warning: LONG POST!

Let me start by saying first that I love Jesus. I am also not perfect. For one reason or another I have never been able to stay on track with reading my bible. I think the best I have done was to read regularly for 10 minutes a day for maybe a week or two. I have always enjoyed the time I spent reading the bible, but I am just not great at being regular. I think the problems usually stem from me being wrapped up in other things. See, I love reading. I devour books like I devour food. I am so obsessive when I read books that when there are important things to be done I must FORCE myself to not read. The only way I got through college was by banning books for pleasure unless it was on a break.

Well.. In church the other day God spoke to me and basically pointed out this discrepancy.. I will read read read fiction and non-fiction books alike, yet I still have not read the greatest book ever written. He charged me to not read another book until I have finished the entire bible. Sounds big, huh? Well... It probably will be huge. I began my challenge this week. I did some math and realized that if I read 30 pages a day I can finish in in 2 months. Well, that sounds pretty do-able. I am anxious to continue reading the Wheel of Time series that I began a few weeks ago.. so.... I have to get on it!

So far I have truly been loving reading my bible! It is amazing how much I have missed out on.. I never went to church regularly when I was little so I really don't know many of the "typical children's bible stories". I know it sounds insane, but there have been times while reading that I have been shown so much action, drama, and humor I almost couldn't believe I was reading the bible. It's supposed to be dry and dull, right? Now, don't get me wrong, I have read a few of the books before, and loved them, but this is wholly different!

Today was a struggle... I can't find my bible. Anywhere. I looked all over. I am faced with the fact that I am going on vacation for 11 days and I will need a book.. OCRAP. So.... I went to the library and checked one out. Yep. Well, I got home and realized, hey, I don't need my hard copy, there are websites with the entire bible online! So.. I've been reading for a while, and I finished Genesis today. I feel awesome! :)

I plan on keeping my blog updated with my thoughts or interesting stories that I read.. hopefully it will bless you, maybe inspire you, but it will definitely keep me accountable!

Miracle

Today William dislocated his elbow. I guess it's inherited, both Nate and I dislocated ours when we were his age. It was horrifying, William was hysterical for a solid half an hour. After that he only calmed when he was very still. I had my sister run over to watch Owen while I took Will to the walk-in clinic. We waited for an hour and a half before the doctor came in. William was still very upset, screaming every time his arm moved a fraction of an inch.

We couldn't stand it. We just started praying. We asked God to please make Will's arm better, at least take the pain away. Literally, within minutes, William was up running around the room, giving high-fives, and completely normal. God INSTANTLY answered our prayer. The doctor walked in and said "yup, he's fine". The nurse was even surprised when she saw William, who, merely minutes before was whimpering in pain. God is good, all the time!

Come, Follow Me..

I was watching my boys playing today and William (2) was standing close to Owen (11mos) and saying "Come on, follow me!... Owen, follow me. Come, follow me.." Owen was engrossed in his toys, so didn't pay him much mind. William walked over to him sat down, gently taking one of the toys out of his hand and said "come on, follow me". This went on for about 5 minutes until I distracted both of them.

This exchange reminded me of the passage in the bible "Come, follow me"... I just pictured Jesus standing close by saying to us over and over, "come, follow me", but we're too preoccupied with the things in front of us to notice. Sometimes he will change our circumstances so that we are able to see him more clearly, but the decision is ultimately ours whether or not we decide to follow Him. Trust me, it's worth the journey to follow him!

Dream

The other night I had this dream... There was a huge lego base block, and it was covered with thousands, perhaps millions of single white lego blocks. I asked myself "what are those?" and I heard a voice say "each block represents a sin you have committed". I was dumbstruck. I felt lower than low. How could I have committed so many sins? I was then surrounded by warmth and knew that it didn't matter because they had all been forgiven. However, I was also struck with such conviction to do all I could to not sin. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes you are faced with difficult choices, and sometimes knowingly sinning. This dream reminded me completely of what I want to do for God. It isn't because I feel guilty, it isn't because I feel that it is my job, it is because I love my God, and I want to please him. This is why I try to live my life for God, not out of duty, but out of love. Just as he loves us.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that has always been, as I am sure is for many people, very complicated for me. I like to think that I am a forgiving person; most of the time I can forgive and forget very quickly. However, there are people who I have had trouble forgiving. I have seen what happens to people who cannot/will not forgive others. The bitterness that resides in them, the hurt it causes, and eventually, the separation it can cause. The only way it ends is with regret.

My family has been ripped apart by bitterness and stubbornness. My Dad has a brother. Did you know that? I have three more cousins that I never hear about. The reasons is that there have been disagreements in the past, just as every other family; but because of stubbornness and bitterness they have extracated themselves from our family. What have my grandparents (now just my grandmother) and my father done about it? Said "good riddance!" How terrible! I miss my aunt and uncle and cousins dearly! My grandmother tells me how sad she is and how much she misses her son and grandchildren; she sends them cards only to have them sent back unopened. Her heart is broken. However, she hasn't driven over there. She hasn't really pursued it.

I have asked both my father and grandma if they would forgive the rest of our family, and they have said grudgingly that they would. However I think there would be a lot of groveling, and I don't see that happening. I have been attempting to figure out how I can help, but I don't know how. My oldest cousin and I were always close growing up and I miss him very much. We spent so much time together, all of my time at my dad's when I was young was spent with him. We got into trouble together, played together, and when we were older, ran around together. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I would really like to rekindle that bond. I want my family to know the rest of my family.

Anyway, the reason I was writing this was to talk about forgiveness. I actually had another illustration in mind, but I suppose the previous one works just fine. As I was saying before, I haven't really had trouble forgiving for the most part; however when I have been really hurt, especially repeatedly, I have had a very difficult time forgiving. I just recently was able to truly forgive someone who had hurt me repeatedly for as long as I can remember. I am truly at peace with that person. However, I want to stress that it wasn't me of my own power who was able to forgive. God gave me the strength and the love. I have never truly understood the depths of God's love and forgiveness. My children have helped me to understand.

The bible talks about God as our father and his perfect love and forgiveness for us. The problem with this in my mind was that I couldn't figure out how he could let rapists, murderers, or child molesters into heaven. I think I have figured it out. I love my children unconditionally. I know that if William did something heinous, God forbid, I would be devastated. It would horrify me that this perfect little creation of mine could do something so terrible. While I would ache for him and whoever he hurt, I would want nothing more than for him to repent and go to heaven.

Would you want to spend eternity without your child? It was in that moment that I truly understood God's love. You would always forgive your children and ache for them to be right with the Lord, and you would never stop loving them. This is how God loves us. He will always be waiting with open arms, never have stopped loving you.

Unbelievable Love

I have been thinking about my boys a lot recently; how could I not seeing as how I am with them all day every day! Anyway, I remember being pregnant with Owen and being worried and in awe at the same time thinking "how could I possibly love this baby as much as I love William?" I already had a fierce love burning for this baby in my chest, my need to protect him was unbelievable. However, I still could not understand how I could have that much love in my heart?

Well, the past few weeks have been extremely difficult; the hardest thing I have ever done in fact! I was contemplating how insane we were to have two babies so close together, but at the same time I wasn't able to think of doing it a different way. I thought to myself, "if you had to choose which son to not have right now which one would it be?" I couldn't even wrap my head around that question. Of course I know that if I didn't have one I would have so much more time to devote to the other, but it is impossible for me to choose which one. Of course, I don't have to, and I'm sure I never will (God willing).

I was also thinking about Jacob and Esau in the bible. I can't imagine what their mother would have gone through knowing how they battled. When I thought about how she encouraged Jacob to swindle his brother out of Isaac's blessing at his deathbed I was truly perplexed. My thought was "how could she shortchange her eldest out of this right?" I first wondered if she was playing favorites between the brothers but I don't think that is the case. I think she knew that for one reason or another Jacob needed to have that blessing instead of Esau. A mother knows her children; knows what they are capable of and tries her best to help them achieve it. I think this is an example of a mother trying to do what is right by her children, even if it doesn't appear so at first glance.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Apparently this book, one of my all time favorites, is being made into a movie this year! Hoooraay! In other news; Owen had a spell yesterday so we are looking at Friday for a come home date.

Whenever I read one of my previous sad posts it really makes me appreciate everything Jesus does for me. I would never be able to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" if it weren't for Him. He is so amazing in the strength that he gives me and the endurance that he has set before me. I am so thankful for Him! I cannot imagine why we have gone through this as a family, but not knowing is just fine with me.

I know that God has a plan for me, I have seen it many times in the past. There have been so many times in my life when I have wondered why I am going through certain things only to be shown years later that it has taken me to where I am today. For example, I had to have my heart broken to move to Ames; if I hadn't moved to Ames I would never have met Nate. How can I question a God who gives me such amazing gifts?

There has been so much going on in our house recently it's crazy! William is going through a stage where he does not want to go to sleep; he just can't stand to miss anything! He is cognitively growing by leaps and bounds! He is counting to 10, saying most of his ABC's, and is using 2-3 word sentences constantly. Today we had this conversation: William: "Where Sammy?" Me: "Sammy is in the bedroom." William: "Sammy nigh nigh?" Me: "Yep, Sammy's night night."

From an educational standpoint this just astounds me! To know that for him to have this conversation with me many things have happened. He is able to understand object permanence, knowing that Sammy has gone somewhere, but that she exists in another place even though he can't see her. He also knows that when you are in a bedroom chances are you're sleeping. Not to mention that he has developed proper syntax for answering questions! Way to go Will! It is so amazing for me to watch his development when I am able to appreciate what it takes for him to say such things! Ahhh.

Alright, I think I am going to head into the kitchen for a snack of strawberries and whipped cream! :)